Nowadays i can get my brain in a psychetriptadelic state just by self examining myself and what i know of reality and then negating everything of it for the present tense. Is such a thrill.

Finally, even when im another you, in esense, i only have myself to go on.

But seriously, how is the symbol representing an intelligence superior to another symbol if both represent just ... symbols. The concept of a person being smarter than another simply amazes me.

It also amazing the fact that im writing in inglish again. Apparantly for no reason.

My trail of conscience just became very tangled but precise. All became very psicological at the end. So i started typing in english because of this i guess. But it doesnt matters.

They're just letters they say. Symbols. Ack! more symbols. Can you imagine saying, hey, the v is smarter than the k. Why? Because look, the v is more symetric, so its a symbol that can reflect more of what is happening around. WTF!?

Hate and negation. Trues or lies. And please dont call me the zen master, but i know a little about being calm. Sometimes rather too calm for the time we are all living. But what hurts the most really? Good question. Let me chew it.

I dont feel good at all. Im not the person id like to be. No need to explain anything else, i just want to move on forward. And when i think about it, i come to the aforementioned state. Whats the reason im not doing what i really want to do, what was on the plan?


And yes, aristotle said all that that if the brain comands the arm to move then the arm moves and whatsoever, but in my case if i tell myself ... be a good student as you used to be, i dont move. I know, moving an arm is easier that all the phisical movement involved in being a good student, but i think the example relates. This is when everything became psicological and i just felt like jerking off and going to job. Or try to.

Yesterday i was watching a osho history about a frog and a centipede. Didn't made any sense at all. And i used to like osho. Dont call me the zen master again, but even if you talk like a monk, your life can still be just above the bum level. Not happy in this state, i start to reflex, about the aforementioned concepts. Good and bad mostly. What's good for me and why am i not doing it? Bleh. Simple questions. That's why no body reads me actually.

Then the truth came. I may not accept it but im a man of beliefs and o god if i hate my father. And even then, in him i trust. He created everything. Well, if anything had to be created at all. All this psico discussion became a situation of time. We are created and destroyed, time in matters of creation and destruction behaves in such a different way... lemme create some hours. Just joking.

Its funny to try and think in stuff that dont necessarily needs to be created or start and neither do end or go out of existence. God, the universe and those gismos. And maybe my calmness arises from always perceibing the world through this infinite perspective. The problem here is that humang beings do start and end. But what if not? Well... that is totally another discussion.

And words end where a discussion about non-verbal female comunication, honesty and ethics begin. And i hope that really every body wishes for the best. In a real way, not just letters, words, whatever, because as the saying goes "caras vemos, corazones no sabemos". Did i said before that a lot of evil in the world is caused rather by not doing anything at all than by doing something really bad? Omission is the worst sin, if are we to bring the good and bad discussion again into assertions.


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Eso fue el martes. Hoy sábado, estoy (a diferencia del martes) insaciablemente feliz.